Saturday, July 30, 2011

Leaving Your Hobbit Hole


Leaving Your Hobbit Hole


There are a few brief seconds of anxiety as the board creaks and bows under my weight as I walk the plank.

No I am not on a ship, or anywhere near an ocean. I am in my driveway. Or more specifically, standing on a board over the gaping hole where my driveway used to be. Abundant rainfall seems to be the norm in my hometown Smith Center this spring which has caused the creek to swell, washing away the dirt around the

bridge.

The necessity of “our two-by-four to the world” (don’t worry, its actually a little wider) has created a few new steps to my family’s daily routine. Though the half mile walk to the house is a great time to admire the starry sky, the cricket’s singing, or the dogs running down the drive to meet me, it also adds a few inconveniences. For instance, we take “the trolley” (otherwise known as a little red wagon) to haul things from the house to the car which is parked on the other side of the bridge. We take a flash light along with us if we will be returning home after dark so we can “walk the plank” without falling in the creek. And when friends come over, we meet them at the bridge to usher them safely across “the moat” and up the driveway to the house.

Being a little separated from the world has earned my house the nickname “Hobbit Hole” among my friends. I think it’s fitting. My home is a refuge. A place to escape from society. That Hobbit Hole is my home, the place where nothing can go wrong.

In the words of J.R.R. Tolkien, “It’s a dangerous business going out your front door.” Having to cross the gap in the driveway makes the separation between my home and the rest of the world seem a lot bigger.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just stay at home where everything is under control, rather than walking the plank?

Easier, perhaps. Better, no. That feeling, the in between part where I’ve already left the safety of the bridge and haven’t yet reached my goal on the steady land- that feeling in the pit of my stomach saying: This is so dangerous! I have no control! I could fall to the sharp rocks below at any moment! That feeling is one

that I’ve had far too little of in my life.

I have always lived my life with caution, planning out every detail, 100% in control of every piece. It was nice to know I had nothing to worry about. I wanted my whole life to be in my very own “Hobbit Hole”, where I had all my ducks in a row. Much later, I realized leaving nothing up to chance is a pretty dismal way to go about life. There are no adventures to be had without a little risk. When my perfect plans didn’t work out, I knew I was missing something.

Many times I have heard the phrase “God is writing your story.” By being so cautious, I had taken the pen from God’s hand and was attempting to be not just the book He was writing in, but the author as well.

My first semester at K-State proved that I am not capable of being the author. I was struggling in classes like I never had before, failing my friends, and letting important things slide. In the midst of my failure I found myself asking “What is my purpose?” Realizing I didn’t know the answer terrified me. Doing my best at everything I wrote into my life wasn’t good enough if I didn’t have a conclusion, a purpose for all the hard work.

Suddenly, I didn’t want to have that pen anymore. Writing the story isn’t nearly as fun when you don’t know what to say. It was tough for me to relinquish that control of my life back to where it should be- in God’s hands. I admit, I’m still a schemer, seeing how all the pieces in my life could fit together to create the perfect picture I want to see.

But I don’t have the perfect formula and I don’t have to force pieces to fit where I want them. God knows exactly how they fit. And he will put them into place at exactly the right time. My job is not to be the author, but to be the blank pages of the book, ready to be filled with the opportunities He sends my way.

Yes, it is a dangerous business going out the front door of your Hobbit Hole into a world where things are definitely not under control, and walking that plank can be scary. But perhaps it is as J.R.R. Tolkien said,

"Maybe the paths that you each shall tread are already laid before your feet though you do not see them."

Have faith that the pages of your book will be filled, if only you have the courage to let them be. So off with you, my fellow hobbits! Leave your Hobbit Holes in the Shire behind- walk the plank!

There are adventures to be had!